


Room To Breathe

by orphan_account



Category: Grojband
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mental Institution, Child Abuse, F/M, Mental Health Issues, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-24
Updated: 2015-05-24
Packaged: 2018-04-01 00:12:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3998575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Corey, who fails a suicide attempt, is but in a mental hospital where he meets an abused redhead and two twins that seem to hide from the world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Room To Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like this chapter is kind of shaky, but the beginnings are always the hardest. Next chapter should be good. I don't know just how long this will be, but it shouldn't be too long (chapter wise). Comments are appreciated!

I didn’t know how a felt but at that moment, I could tell that I shouldn’t have felt so good. I sat on the uncomfortable little chair in the waiting room to wait for my results. I didn’t like being evaluated, especially with this gauze around my neck. I felt like a freak. Neither my dad or Trina could bear to look at me. They were both exhausted, but I could tell that neither one of them wanted to leave, even though I was old enough to make my own decisions. Guarding… they were guarding me, protecting me from myself so that I didn’t have any time or room to where I could hurt myself again.

I was a failure. My throat hurt, but then again, that was my fault. Everything was my fault. The depression, the dark thoughts, the fact that my mother wasn’t around. I felt like all of this blame rested on my shoulders, despite everyone telling me that it wasn’t my fault. My dad patted my shoulder awkwardly to disrupt my thoughts, but all I could do was smile back and dig my nails into the palms of my hands. I absolutely hated myself.

“Riffin?”

My dad, my sister with her face in her phone, and I stood up. Trina stood as far away from me as possible; my dad looked as if he was going to pass out. The doctor smiled awkwardly at the three of us and handed my father an envelope. “Corey is going to need to stay here for a while. We took a look at his case, and well…” He glanced at my throat, and then back at my father, which made me ten times more uncomfortable. “We think he may be suicidal, and this wasn’t just a subconscious accident.”

I tugged on my dad’s sleeve. “No! Dad, you can’t let them keep me here. Trina’s home from college. We haven’t seen her in so long!” I was afraid that dad was going to have to get used to there being two empty seats at the dinner table for so long. It was just as hard for him to adjust when mom died, and her chair was left empty. I tried so hard to smile at him. “C’mon, dad. I’m okay, I really am. I promise.”

“Core, bud, you said that last time.” He hugged me and fought his own tears. “Just stay here for a while, okay? Get better, and when you get out, Trina, you, and me can all go get some ice cream.”

“It’s not fair,” I whined. “I feel safer at home. I hate it here. It’s cold and uncomfortable. I want to go lay in my bed, it’s so late. Please don’t let them keep me here.”

“This isn’t the first time you’ve hurt yourself, Corey,” he sighed. “I trust you, Corey, I really do. You’re a good person and you mean well… but I couldn’t live knowing that you could easily hurt yourself again. I want you to get better. I really do.”

I wanted to scream. Tears were prickling my eyes and sobs were trying to force their way out of my throat. This wasn’t fair. I tore away from him and crossed my arms. “Fine,” I choked out. One tear escaped, and he saw it. He felt bad, and I wanted him to, because I didn’t deserve to be here. I wanted to go home and finish what I’d started. 

They took my shoes, my belt, my headphones, my iPod, my gum, and lastly, the razors that I hid so securely in my pocket. So what if I lied to my dad? I wasn’t okay and that was fine. I didn’t want to do anything anyways. My two best friends just crumbled everything I lived for. They took everything and left me with nothing. Seventeen or not, I just didn’t see what else I had to offer the world. I was just a stupid boy with dyed-blue hair and stupid guitars.

I was taken down a hall and then sat in a chair while the nurse and a guard talked. There was only one room open, and that was with some girl. She usually wasn’t given roommates, from what I could gather from their conversation. Nightmares kept everyone up and she had really bad anxiety or something. That excited me; the crazy kids usually found a way to smuggle in something. I could have gotten some new blades or something, and increased the wound. I would have been out in no time at all.

“Yah, jus’ stick ‘em in there with ‘er. He’ll be fine.” The security guard nodded to the nurse and I was lead to the room in the corner. The door was pushed open easily (oh great, we couldn’t close the doors the whole way) and the light was turned on. The girl in the left bed bolted up and threw a pillow at the door.

“Get out!” She looked afraid. Her red hair stuck up in places and her green eyes were so wide and terrified, just as teary as mine. This girl trembled like crazy.

“Laney, honey it’s just me.” The nurse picked up the pillow and set it behind her. “Miss Sally. Do you remember me?”

The girl nodded. She looked down, ashamed, and wiped the tears off of her face. “Yes… I do.”

The nurse looked over at me, patting her back. “Laney, this is Corey. He’s your new room mate.”

Her eyes grew wide. “Him? But--Miss Sally-- wait! No!” She tossed a pillow at me and hid underneath her blanket. “He’ll hit me!” I picked it up, handed it back to the nurse, and she tucked it back behind her.

“Corey promised me that he wouldn’t hit you,” Miss Sally told her. “In fact, I quizzed him on how to be a good roommate. He passed.” She pulled down the covers. “Laney, you’re going to be okay. Are you taking your medication in the mornings?”

She nodded sheepishly. “I have. Are you sure that he’s okay?” I didn’t know what to do. She looked at me and I was too busy scowling at the floor and crying to wave or show her that I wasn’t going to beat her up like she feared. I sat on the bed and accepted the fact that this was going to be my home for a few days.

Miss Sally nodded to her. She took my hat and set it on the shelf, leaving me feeling completely naked. She was able to calm down my crazy roommate before shutting the light off and leaving me alone with her. The blankets were thin, and the pillows were too soft. I felt like I was sleeping on a sticky cloud. Maybe it was a cinnamon bun, I didn’t know how to describe it, but it sucked. I missed my own bed, and this was only the first night.

Through the darkness, I could hear Laney cry. “You… you seem angry.”

“I’m pissed,” I told her. “I want to go home and my dad stuck me here. He left me here when I had plans.”

“What kind of plans?”

I paused. I wasn’t going to tell her anything else. She was a crazy little redhead and I wasn’t about to spill everything to her. “Good night,” I said, before rolling over to face the wall.

When I woke up, I was surrounded by the amazing scent of a huge breakfast. I thought I was home, laying comfortably with the light from the window hitting me just right. The window was too high and out of reach, and this bed was too small. Also, crazy girl was in the corner, huddled in a ball and sleeping so peacefully. She looked so mangled. Her red hair was a mess and she drooled like crazy.

There was a loud tap on the door and a security guard peaked in. "Alright, children, it's time for breakfast and meds! Rise and shine."

The girl jerked herself awake with a gasp and frantically wiped her eyes. "Dammit," she hissed, trembling. "Dammit, dammit, dammit!"

"You alright?"

She shook her head. "Yeah." From the gauze on her left wrist, I could tell that she was hurting herself just as much as whoever else was. She stood up and shied away from me, running out before me and staying three feet away at all times. She wasn’t alright at all.

We walked out separately for breakfast, and that's when I got a visual for the beautiful scent. There were eggs, bagels, pancakes, fruit, and milk. I was just about to drool when the girl turned around. “They won’t let you eat that unless you take your pills. If you refuse, you get a pack of poptarts and regular milk.”

“Why?”

She shrugged, catching her breath. “It’s just how they are. They want you to take your pills to get better.” She huffed a bit, doubling over. She fell into a bean bag and her breathing started to get heavier. I didn’t know what to do with her, so I just walked away. I decided that I wasn’t going to eat breakfast anyways. I’d eat when I got home.

“Come on, Kon, it’s just breakfast. We can hide back in the room after.” I looked up to see to kids walking by.

“Okay.” The taller one was lifeless. He just shrugged and shrugged when ever he was being talked to and he nodded and nodded when he needed to. He was a big guy, with long, messy hair and a smaller guy hanging around him constantly, from what it looked like.

“Kon? What’s wrong? Did someone say something? Are you hurt? Are you--”

“I’m fine,” he muttered. “I just don’t like people.”

The two just walked on toward the breakfast table, leaving others either already eating or rushing to get in line. I followed. I wanted to eat so much to take away all of this pain, but a doctor blocked me. “Not so fast, Mr. Riffin. You haven’t taken your pills yet.” He held up a little cup with one, blue pill inside. “Swallow this down and you can eat all your heart desires.”

“What is it?”

“Prozac. Twenty milligrams.”

I took it wearily and swallowed it without thinking. Obviously, these people knew what they were doing. I was obviously going to get out of here faster. I would take whatever they told me to if it meant I had to spent less time here.

“Alright, enjoy your breakfast.”

I didn’t, but it seemed like everyone else did. Kon and the little guy following him around had two plates each and a bottle of chocolate milk, the crazy redhead ate a cinnamon roll and then some or an orange, which surely wasn’t a good combination, and everyone else had their share. There was a tall girl with brown hair and a waist so small that paper seemed thicker. She was coaxed into eating at least a little bit. She was congratulated the entire time she ate. All she had was half a cinnamon roll.

I sat beside her and gave a thumbs up. “Great job!”

She smiled weakly, but I could tell that she was uncomfortable. “Oh… um… thanks.”

“Do you want me to sit somewhere else?”

She shook her head. “No, I’m okay. I just didn’t think other patients would care.”

“I just think you’re brave,” I answered truthfully. “I’m angry because I’m being forced the challenge my illness, but here you are, working hard to get better even if it’s only a baby step. I think that deserves to be applauded.” I wanted to start crying again. She smiled for real this time, her nose getting red and her blue eyes lighting up.

“Oh… th-thank you. “ She took another bite and then looked at me curiously. “Are you alright?”

“Yes,” I mumbled. “Uhm, excuse me.” I stood up and walked away. She looked so much like my mom and it terrified me and delighted me at the same time.

I sat in a bean bag in the corner, by myself, watching the clock. Time would go by soon enough, and I would get out of here. Maybe my dad would come get me early. Maybe I would be released tomorrow. I closed my eyes and buried my face in my hands. It was only morning and I felt so hopeless. I wanted to go home and finish what I had started.


End file.
